Book 123 Magic is a parenting book written by Dr. Thomas Phelan. It provides parents with practical strategies to effectively discipline their children, ages 2-12, without yelling, arguing, or physically punishing them. The book focuses on three key steps: controlling negative behavior, encouraging positive behavior, and strengthening the parent-child relationship. The first step is to stop unwanted behavior by calmly and consistently using a "counting method." When a child misbehaves, the parent calmly says, "That's 1" without getting angry or engaging in an argument.
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1-2-3 Magic 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting provides easy-to-learn parenting techniques and practical advice for parents of children ages 2 12. Summary 1-2-3 Magic for Kids Helping Your Children Understand the New Rules is a brand new book designed to aid parents in explaining 1-2-3 Magic to their children.
" When a child misbehaves, the parent calmly says, "That's 1" without getting angry or engaging in an argument. If the child continues to misbehave, the parent says, "That's 2." If the behavior persists, the parent says, "That's 3" and the child receives a consequence, like a time-out or loss of privileges.
What’s Wrong with 1, 2, 3…Magic?
I have used this technique myself because the book was given to me by one of my supervisors at my social work field placement back in 2008.
This is the book they gave to all the young moms who needed help with parenting.
The basic premise is this: kids need to know the rules and need to know what to expect when they break the rules. They need consistent boundaries and predictable consequences. The predictable consequence, in this case, is a time-out. The “time” is calculated as one minute per year of the child’s age (so a 3-year-old would get a 3-minute time out and an 8-year-old would get an 8-minute time out.)
The “1… 2… 3” are the warnings the child receives before being put in a time-out.
The parent is instructed to do this in a calm, emotionally neutral way. All business. Matter-of-fact. And the child is supposed to learn that if they “misbehave,” there will be the same consequence every time.
Let’s unpack what’s wrong with this approach.
While I appreciate the attempt to modernize the “I’m going to count to three” approach that many of us were raised with (often having no idea what would happen when mom got to “3” – often nothing, but sometimes something much worse than a time-out), 1, 2, 3…Magic is still, at its core, a punishment technique.
This technique helps children understand that there are consequences for their actions and encourages them to modify their behavior. In addition to stopping negative behavior, the book emphasizes the importance of encouraging positive behavior. Parents are advised to actively notice and praise their children when they are behaving well. This positive reinforcement helps to reinforce good behavior and encourages children to make better choices in the future. Furthermore, Book 123 Magic stresses the significance of building a strong parent-child relationship. Parents are encouraged to spend quality time with their children, allowing for bonding and open communication. The book suggests using special one-on-one time with each child, where they can engage in activities of their choice and feel valued by their parents. The strategies presented in Book 123 Magic are based on research in child psychology and have been proven effective by many parents. By using the counting method, encouraging positive behavior, and investing in the parent-child relationship, parents can create a more peaceful and harmonious home environment. The book provides practical examples and tips to help parents implement these strategies successfully. Overall, Book 123 Magic serves as a guide for parents who are seeking an effective and gentle approach to discipline their children. It provides a clear and easy-to-follow framework that can be adapted to suit various parenting styles and individual needs. The book offers valuable insights and tools that can help parents raise responsible, well-behaved, and happy children..
Reviews for "Improving Parent-Child Relationships with Book 123 Magic"
- John - 1 star - I found "Book 123 Magic" to be incredibly dull and uninspiring. The characters were one-dimensional and lacked any depth or development. The plot was predictable and lacked any real excitement or intrigue. Overall, I was thoroughly disappointed with this book and would not recommend it to anyone seeking an engaging and meaningful read.
- Emily - 2 stars - "Book 123 Magic" fell flat for me. The writing style was unimpressive and the dialogue felt forced and unnatural. The story lacked any sort of originality or uniqueness and I found myself losing interest very quickly. Additionally, the pacing was uneven, with slow and uneventful sections followed by rushed and illogical plot developments. Overall, I was left unsatisfied by this book and would not recommend it to others.
- Sarah - 2 stars - I was not a fan of "Book 123 Magic". The characters seemed to lack depth and their actions and motivations often felt unrealistic. The plot was predictable and offered no surprises or twists. I also found the writing style to be dry and uninspiring. Overall, I was unimpressed with this book and would not recommend it to readers looking for an engaging and memorable read.
- Michael - 1 star - "Book 123 Magic" was a complete disappointment. The story was poorly structured, with a lack of clear direction and unresolved subplots. The characters were flat and uninteresting, and I struggled to connect with any of them. The writing style was also lackluster, with repetitive phrases and cliched descriptions. Overall, I found this book to be a waste of time and would not recommend it to others.