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The Worst Witch

I'm pretty sure J.K. ROWLING must read Kindertrauma every day , so I must pose one question specifically to her: J.K., is there anything you'd like to say to the class about where your ideas for the HARRY POTTER series came from?….No?… Anyone you might want to tip your wizard's hat to as acknowledgement for inspiration?… No, really?… Are you sure? It's O.K., you're allowed to be influenced by others…No, nothing? O.K. J.K, we'll just let it go, but I must say I'm very disappointed in you. Now that that's not settled, let's talk about THE WORST WITCH whose synopsis can be read on the back of any of J.K.'s HARRY POTTER books. THE WORST WITCH stars born outsider and traumatot legend FAIRUZA BALK (RETURN TO OZ) and is as impervious to critique as it is to human understanding. It may be grossly unprofessional, feature alarmingly sub-LIDSVILLE flying sequences and gamble on the assumption that a viewer can withstand dual roles AND a MUSICAL NUMBER by one CHARLOTTE RAE, but when all is said and done, it makes that other child training in the black arts seem like he has an enchanted broomstick stuck up his ass. Why is THE WORST WITCH the best movie that takes place in a magic school for kids? Because it actually has magical powers! POTTER's movies may be 3 or more hours in length, but I guarantee WITCH's mere 70 minutes will have you wondering if you have been watching it for days! Plus it has a message, which as far as I could make out was something like, "Keep sucking at what you suck at, but suck at it in your own sucky way!" Unlike most films aimed at kids, here we are not advised to gain power through acquiring a ROWLING-esque money pile or by being flashier than our peers. Real power comes from passively shrugging off adversity, having the ugliest cat in the room and intuitively knowing who deserves to be transformed into a pig or a snail. I don't really don't know how to describe TIM CURRY's sanity stealing musical interlude, you can either watch it HERE or take a cheese grater to your eyeballs, I'm not sure if there is a difference. To sum it all up, J.K. ROWLING is a dirty plagiarist with no conscience, CHARLOTTE RAE is even more certifiably insane than previously understood, TIM CURRY has the power to burn a permanent hole in your retina, and budgets of over one thousand dollars are for chumps. Keep doing what you're doing folks, eat, sleep, go to work, pay your bills, if you have not experienced THE WORST WITCH you will go to your grave unenlightened, having lived only half of a life. Sure that four-eyed POTTER may receive all the attention and laurels but in my backwards spell book WORST is best!

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The Worst Witch (The Movie) [VHS]

Based on Jill Murphy's book, this charming movie is set in an English boarding school for witches--complete with orange and black school uniforms, broom-flying exercises, and potion assignments for lab. The incompetent student of the title, Mildred, is played by a fetching young Fairuza Balk. Diana Rigg is the nasty head teacher, Tim Curry the (oddly) idolized Grand Wizard, and TV's Facts of Life maven Charlotte Rae does double duty as the school's kindly dean and her evil witch twin, who's bent on taking over the school. Directed by Robert Young, this 68-minute video features less than state-of-the-art effects and several songs that stop the action--most bizarrely an outdoor assembly performance by Curry that turns into a weird music video. Still, preteen girls will identify with the beleaguered heroine who overcomes her wickedly snooty rival, a teacher who doesn't believe in her, and a band of dastardly witches and, of course, saves the day. (Ages 6 and older) --Kimberly Heinrichs

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The Worst Witch ★★½ 1986 (G)

Fantasy about a school for young witches where the educational lessons never go quite as planned. Adapted from the children's book “The Worst Witch” by Jill Murphy. 70m/C VHS, DVD . Diana Rigg, Charlotte Rae, Tim Curry, Fairuza Balk; D: Robert M. Young.

"The Worst Witch ." VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever. . Encyclopedia.com. 9 Jan. 2024 < https://www.encyclopedia.com > .

"The Worst Witch ." VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever. . Encyclopedia.com. (January 9, 2024). https://www.encyclopedia.com/arts/culture-magazines/worst-witch

"The Worst Witch ." VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever. . Retrieved January 09, 2024 from Encyclopedia.com: https://www.encyclopedia.com/arts/culture-magazines/worst-witch

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